It becomes the cinematic equivalent of awkwardly peeing in a public toilet with too many men waiting for their turn. After this, all hell breaks loose – painfully slowly, over two hours of interminable and contrived miscommunication. This timely demise helps him pursue (stalk) her in a more acceptable manner, until she finally gives in. A romantic song plays over the proceedings of her grandmother’s funeral he gazes lovingly at her tears in slow motion, dreaming hopelessly in a grieving household, while being the dewy-eyed and sanskaari male helper around the dead body. And until they realize that the 127-minute long script is perhaps a result of an sms-level one liner. Much like life, this film is all smooth sailing when secret adolescent love blooms between long-time sibling-like neighbours Gattu and Binny – all fine and dandy until the adults get involved. I’m certain most of India unwittingly populated the messy comedy-of-errors confines of Behen Hogi Teri – a nosy Gujarati family (what else does Darshan Jariwala sound like?), some boyish Haryanvi accents (the impressive Yuvraj Singh doppelganger from MS Dhoni: The Untold Story, Herry Tangri), old-school Bollywood Thakur-type gundas (Ranjeet, Gulshan Grover – obviously), and a black-sheep hero ( Rajkummar Rao) and naïve heroine (Shruti Haasan) who could’ve epitomized the sweet corniness of any small-town romance if they weren’t restricted by genre. I suspect there’s more to the city than a bunch of characters that are not quite sure if they’re supposed to be serious or idiotic. Unfortunately, by the end of this movie, I didn’t care. I don’t know what a typically closeted Lucknow locality is supposed to be like.
For instance, I don’t know a thing about Lucknow, where Behen Hogi Teri unravels. But good cinema allows you to travel to these places despite the story, learn a bit about their culture and quirks, and invest in the faces even if you disagree with – or judge the hell out of – them. When city slickers like us watch a new film based in a particular region we’re unfamiliar with, chances are we most certainly won’t relate to these characters, their decisions, moods and motivations.